Dear PARENT in this world…


I once was that prodigal child — lost, angry, and struggling to find my identity. Hardened on the outside, but deeply hurting within. The pain of my choices was not only destroying me, but creating heartache within our family and severing my relationships with the people who loved me most.

By God’s grace, my Mom did not give up on me — She prayed for me and here I am today. Thank you Mummy. I love you. Never give up on our children, no matter how much they hurt or persecute us.

Someday they will return… home.

It’s incredibly hard to pray for anything but a comfortable, successful, and pain-free life for our children. But as parents, the greatest eternal good that we can pray for them is their salvation over their earthly happiness or comfort. We have to fight for them in this world filled with temporary pleasures, self-gratification, and blurry lines — entrusting their lives to our Lord — even if the path of salvation comes through pain.

I am eternally grateful that my Mom loves me enough to pray for my brokenness, a brokenness that would lead to healing.
My path of brokenness nearly killed me.

After a devastating loss of my identity, my first two years of utter depression, my life spiraled out of control. I searched for identity and purpose in anything but Jesus. As self-destructive patterns drove me deeper into despair, I longed for an escape from this world, totally! ultimately landing me in the protection of a hospital, not twice not thrice! The breakdown, the stroke, the month I decided I want to experiment with drugs and be an alcoholic… My point? Nobody’s perfect! Surprisingly just the other day I was threatened by the very same I experienced that life with, yet, the more she condemed my new choice, the calmer I responded… Knowing someday, she will join me…

In that stark white hospital room, the choice before me was clear: be crushed by the weight of my sin or lay the broken pieces of my life at his feet. By his grace, he led me to my knees and has been redeeming those broken pieces ever since. My journey is still very far from over my friends and family…

We will only be bold enough to pray a prayer of brokenness over our children when we ourselves have been broken before God and trust his love for our children and us. It’s only when we have completely surrendered our children to him that we can pray, “Father, use what you must to save my child from an eternity apart from you, no matter the cost.”
Pray against the enemy’s desire to have them.
I have read that “We will only be bold enough to pray for our child’s brokenness when we ourselves have been broken before God.”

A battle is being waged over our children’s lives. We have to fight for them, especially when blindness keeps them from fighting the battle themselves.

I remember my mom telling me the story of a time when I was standing with her, angry at the world, and taking it out on her. She looked at me and said boldly, “I am fighting for you, humble to your Queen!” I hushed down quicker than you read this sentence.

Although we don’t have a guarantee of our have turned again, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:31–32).

Even if your child wants nothing to do with the truth, This is another mighty weapon God has given to parents.

My Mom has prayed Psalm 18:16–19 over my life and pray it often:He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

It truly amazes me to look back and see how faithful God was to answer Mummy’s prayer. I was drowning in self-destruction, abuse from others, rebelliousness, and sorrows too deep to understand at the time. God, in his mercy, drew me out of many deep waters, and rescued me from my own flesh and Satan’s desire for me.“While we must teach and train our children, and put boundaries in place, we have no control over their hearts.”

As I sat at South Beach Shopping centre, staring at 32 Falaise where my family lives, no longer wanting to live, God rescued me, he brought Wendy, out into a broad place, and showed me that he delighted in me (despite my unworthiness). He has continued to be faithful to this prayer, upholding me through many deep waters and carrying me through many dark days.

Parents, no matter how far your child seems to be from Jesus or what path they are on, you can fight for their life with the powerful weapon of God’s word.
The Power of a Praying Parent

I am learning this on a new level and Parents, so should you. Look through the eyes of a Mother who has one child on Earth and the other child, who eternally will be 6 years old in my soul. Look through the eyes of me…

“God has made a promise — and sealed it with his Son’s blood — that he will give back more.”
John Piper

All my love

Written on the 26 September 2018…. Chereldene Venetia Williams (Hamann) 6 September 1960 – 26 September 2015.
“My Compadre’, My Karnal, my best friend, my guide, my fort…My QUEEN!!!!!!!
Only God or another child who has lost a Mother would know how I feel on a day like this…It’s been extremely hard for me being your daughter for almost 3 years now. To some, it’s been so long, to me, still just like yesterday. We were extremely close my Mother and many admired the Mother/ Daughter bond you and I had. I never have and never will have a better best friend than you.
I still don’t remember half of the day I lay you to rest, it’s still all a bit misty to me. People tell me bits here and there. I ask some ‘’why were you not at my family’s resting day’’? and I get responses like ‘’but Tanya I hugged you’’? Aaah well, I do apologise after that, But What I do remember Mummy, is when I stood there seeing you and My Son and Grampa sinking down into ground, a sight that flashes in front of me every now and then… Hey, I act the soldier you trained me to be… so they all think I’m ok… you know I’m not… Please just forgive me for today and the 26th , it’s humanly impossible to bear… Loving Mother… May the gentle leaves that fly in a breeze whisper your voice in my ear if it be God’s authorization. I love, miss and cherish the one and only woman in my life that would never leave my side, even in your absence, you are still here in my heart and my soul as my spirit is one with you…My Mother…
You have enriched my life and made me who I am today. I miss you so much especially today, I want you to enjoy your birthday in heaven with all the angels and give Milano Williams and Miguel Louw the biggest piece of cake ok? You were the first person I thought of when I woke up this morning. I am truly so sad you are no longer with us, at the same time yet, I am still calm that you are happy and safe from harm in the arms of God. Mom, as your children, want you to know that even if you are no longer with us, we still love you and miss your presence. The word “Mummy” is very special as we hear others here on earth say it every day. ‘’Mummy’’ is the embodiment of love, affection, and care. Of all the moms in the world, you are simply the best. Our lives will never be the same again without you. The day you passed away has been the saddest day of my life, and even worse, as you passed together with my very own child Milano. On the day God made you Mummy, he specially designed you to be a soldier and embodiment of love. I want you to know that I will forever keep you in the deepest recesses of my heart until we meet again. Your Daughter… Tanya”.

Tanya Williams says “I believe The Universe does not punish you. It does not bless you,  nor control you.
The universe responds to the vibration you  create yourself and to others”.